RELATIONSHIP IMPASSE
“Finding the way back to love”
This 8-session bundle is meant for any man or woman who sees their relationship sliding more and more into conflict, isolation or boredom and feels hopeless that, despite their efforts, things are not getting better.
About relationships … and possibly you
Sometimes our love relationship hits a bump (or two). Maybe they lose their initial spark or they start bringing up more conflict than joy. So much so that we might even consider separation or we find ourselves tempted by the idea of an affair.
However, we don’t want to give up, we feel love is still there. Moreover, it could be that we had relationships before where we threw the towel a bit too early and that didn’t feel right.
If you are like me, you decide to do something about it and, with the help of books or teachers, you start working on your communication skills, assertiveness or softness, feminine or masculine energy.
But even after managing some changes and seeing some results, things have not improved too much or they even got worse.
If you find yourself in this description, then this program could be the right thing for you.
The way I see it…
The impasse is natural
It is painful to see that what might have been a sweet, passionate, vibrant beginning of a relationship has eroded into a disconnected or even conflictual one.
But it is also quite natural:
We all carry with us not-so-beneficial patterns of acting in a love relationship that we picked up as kids – they are our strategies of getting love, attention, support, appreciation.
When we fall in love, we are full of spontaneity, openness, optimism, so we don’t need these strategies much.
But as we come closer to each other and our lives become more interwined, we start to experience frustration and then unknowingly we resort to our patterns.
Understanding roles
One way patterns manifest is by us starting to play a role. We might become a parent to our partner, or a manager, a teacher or a hero. The other one usually takes the complementary role: that of a child, or student or a damsel in distress.
This arrangement feels good in the beginning – we get attention, a sense of importance or control over the situation - but after a while we start feeling the lack of spontaneity that comes with it or we might rebel against the role. Welcome, boredom and conflict!
Understanding if we bring roles or other types of patterns in our relationship is very important if we want to go back to vibrancy, connection, intimacy.
However the work needs to go deeper.
Understanding needs
Remember how we use these strategies because we want love, attention, support, appreciation, understanding, freedom?
We need to get to the root of that.
Why can I not express these essential needs other than indirectly? Were these needs met when I was a child (or not really) and how is this affecting my capacity to own and express my needs today? How else, more lovingly, can I take care of my needs?
All these questions are important tools that help us come out of our patterns, step into authenticity and spontaneity and, by that, break the knot of our relationship impasse. Not only will this help us solve the conflicts and reawaken our love, but it will also deepen it, making it more connected, more intimate, more true.
So this package is about…
Over the course of 8 weeks, we will lovingly put a lens on your relationship, but mostly on your side of it (it is anyway the only one you can actually affect).
The process is never linear, but some things you can expect during these sessions are:
* I will support you recognise the not-so-beneficial dynamics which are at work in your relationship, as well as how you can affect your side so that these dynamic dissolves
* I will support you in working with your needs so that you find a more authentic, firm and yet loving, way of expression
* You will get communication and self-reflection tools to help you navigate future relationship difficulties in a way that not only takes you back to connection, but it deepens it.
Possible outcomes:
If you dive into this work with an open heart and sincere motivation, you can expect these changes:
you will find it easier to understand yourself and your partner;
you will feel capable to change your relationship dynamic by affecting your side of the equation;
you will have the skill to repair when things go bad;
you will have the language to communicate in a way which creates connection.
Practicalities
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THE PACKAGE
- 8 weekly sessions of apx. 90 min.
- Self-reflective and meditation exercises between sessions.
- Email support throughout the 8 weeks.
PRICE: 800 - 960 EUR
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FREE INTRO SESSSION
Before booking this package, I offer a free introductory session. Its purpose is for both of us to get a feel if we are a fit and if I can be of help.
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TOO BIG TO START WITH?
If booking one package feels like too big a commitment, I also offer you the option of booking one session following our introductory session.
PRICE: 140 EUR
What to expect from a session with me
I have developed my own style of working with people, in which I combine:
giving people an understanding of how relationships work
showing and practicing the tools for them to unlock their own wisdom regarding connection and intimacy.
the emotional, caring space for people to navigate the difficulties they experience.
My focus is on the present moment and finding ways forward in the “now”. However, I do believe that one major key to finding our wisdom is in understanding how our past influences our nowadays decisions, as well as a good connection with our inner child. So you can expect that as part of our work together.
Feeling more like homestudy?
Here are a couple of recordings from Open Thursdays, relevant for relationship impasses: